I don’t even know why I bother pouring a glass of cool, refreshing Calpico from the jug into a glass.  The glass ends up completely empty by the time I get back to the couch/desk/wherever I was sitting.

What I need is an IV bag on wheels like in hospitals that can pump a continuous flow of this sweet, delicious nectar straight into my fucking blood stream.

Yeah, its japanese ok.  And yeah, its a milky white color, and maybe it even does have a bit of condensed milk product in it.  So what the hell do you care?  You’ve never even tried it.  It’s citrusy and not too sweet and tastes like Taylor Swift’s tears and I have to drive 45 minutes to the Farmers Market to buy it.  If the Calpico in my fridge could some how find gainful employment in a lucrative career with 401k matching, I’d marry it and spend the rest of my life with it and be perfectly happy with the tax breaks and there’s nothing you can do about it except be jealous.

It’s 2010.  Last year saw the rise of the phrase ‘just sayin’ and by golly I hereby propose it is high time we do away with it.  It’s spreading and infecting our language, with no value!  It doesn’t really mean anything. People are just throwing it around at the end of almost any sentence, thinking all of a sudden what they said was clever or witty.

What really infuriates me is that etymologically, it just doesn’t make any sense.  Without quite realizing it, I think we all know exactly what its usage and meaning really are.  People are putting “just sayin” at the end of potentially offensive sentences in some vain effort to throw off any responsibility for what they just said. Its cheap, its a cop out, and its got to stop.  It’s like people want to disagree with someone but don’t have the balls to actually stand by what they say.

Example.  “Your shoes are ugly as hell.  Just sayin.”

I fully understand what the phrase means, and why people attach it to the end of the sentence.  I just don’t understand why THOSE two words have come to have that meaning.  Just sayin?  Just sayin WHAT?  How in the world did “just sayin” come to mean “whatever I just said, was probably somewhat offensive, but don’t be offended towards me, as I hereby absolve myself from any responsibility for the words that just came out of my own mouth”.

Its idiotic.  If you want to be a dick to someone’s face, just do it.  Tell them their shoes are ugly, and face the repercussions.    Or at a bare minimum, fall back on a phrase that actually uses words that have to do with the meaning you’re going for, such as “Not to be rude, but” (I’m going to be rude anyway).  Or even Talledega Night’s “With all due respect” phrasing at least approaches directly the idea that you’re about to say something disrespectful.

“Just sayin” on the other hand, is a vapid, pointless, weasly crap-sandwich of a phrase that people seriously gotta stop using.  Just cause it grinds my gears, put it to rest along with the rest of the last decade.